|
| So there has been a lot going on for the past year and a half. I am now a college graduate and living in Alaska. I have no clue what I want to do with the rest of my life. I love being on the water and I love it where I am right now. I miss my friends and family, but I am enjoying being in a new place and I am trying to decide what to do once I return home. I have been completely on my own for the past two months and it is going to be weird to go back to a house where I have rules and can not come and go as I please. There is always something to do here, whether it be just chillin in the common room or going out to the bars. I am working alot, but then again that is who I am and what I do best. The major issues consuming me right now is whether or not I am going to stay in Alaska or return to Georgia. I know I am going back for a little bit, but I really do enjoy it up here. I feel at peace and relaxed, mostly I feel very happy. Things phase me, but I wake up and look outside and see the mountians and the ocean all the worries just melt away. I am trying to think about returning back to Georgia and not being in such an amzing place. I am not sure I could leave this place, I am not sure I can return to the life I once had, espically after everything I have expereinced here and the different people I have been able to talk to. so much to think about and so many choices to make. There are some days I want to be in my own bed back home, but those days are limited and I fall in love with this place more and more. I dont have to pretend to be something that I am not. Every town has its own drama, but nothing compared to some othere stuff I had to deal with. considering so much that has happened over the past few years, i feel like this is the place for me.The ideal plan for me would to winter it here working on some of the boats or getting a job working on the boats somewhere and then return here in March and work until I go to grad school. The main question remains is do I want to go to grad school or do I try and find something else to do with my life. it seems like everyone has their lives planned out and for once I have no clue what I am going to do with mine. The idea does not scare me as much as it use too. I am still trying to figure out who I am, I have just begun to figure out what makes me happy. The ironic thing is the water is where I am the calmist and that is what is going to bring me away from home for sure. it is a matter of what I need to do for myself. It is time to take charge of my life and not care about what other people think or think is best for me. I have a degree and I have heard so many people telling me I am wasting it, but I feel like they are just upset with some part of their life and are envious of my job. I do not even call it a job because it is a privlegde to take people out into the fjords and show them the wonders of it. The best days are when people tell us this the best tour they have ever been on. That is when I know the job is worth it. I still can not believe I am working two jobs and still hanging out with people. I would not trade this place for anything. I really do feel at ease about being here and where I am in my life. I have my moments of pure panic and I begin to freak, but then I take a walk. There are some issues that are in the back of my mind, but only time can smooth things out. Well I am off to bed and to think somemore lol! | | |
| So..it is over half way through the semester and I dont think it has slowed down any yet. I am working on my first research experiment!! I am going to be so excited when it is complete and I hope it gets accepted into SEPA!! Well things have had there ups and downs since I have been here this year. I have done alot of thinking and trying to figure out what is important in my life. There has been so much change over th past couple of years. I was thinking about that with the freshman move in and how so many people have changed or how I have changed. Things that were important then are not so much as important now. I have learned what true friends are and count my blessings everyday for them. I wonder and think alot more than I use to. I am trying to figure out where I want to spend the next 5 years of my life. Do I want to move far away from home or do I want to stay close by. I am still not sure. Good Gosh there is so much just going on in my mind right now and so many questions I have to ask but am not sure who to ask or if i should as them. I want to be myself but I am afriad that it scares people. which i should not care about but i dont want it to scare the wrong people, but the thing is if it scares them are they the right people to be around. I am not to sure right now. I need to stop thinking about boys and start to thinka bout school., but my brain hurts from so much studying this semester. I am not sure what to think or do about the different things. oh well only time will tell what is suppose to happen or what will happen. until then i need to be thankful for what i have and not what i need. Questions always seem to answer themselves in time and sometimes they smack you on the head and other times they just kinda creep up on you. I am really rambling right now, but it helps just clear my mind of things. I no who I want to become but I not sure if i have the strength to become that person right now. there is so much change that needs to happen. I have started to work towards to becoming that person but i am not sure how well it is going to work out. i need to have faith in myself but sometimes that just really stumbles and i fall, but i just need to get back up and fight for it. everything in life that is worht while is hard work. this includes relationships, jobs and other stuff. So much to think about and so much to look at. I have been lucky to experience alot of different things in my life time and meet so many amazing people, but i need to figure how these expereiences have palyed into my life and how they have affected me. I am just looking at the different ways I have been hurt and trying to figure how those epxereinces have helped me. I can some how they have helped but I am not to sure about how the others have helped me. Like I said before there is so much to think about and so much to deal with. I am 21 and unsure what I am going to do with the rest of my life, where I am going to be what I am going to do or what I want to do. i dont want to let people down, but mostly i dont want to disappoint myself. That is going to be the hardest thing I have to worry about, I have already done it alot this year. i have disappoint myself and may different ways whether it be grades or whether be in realstionships. i am not sure right now and i just have to sit down and think about it. there is so much to think and wite about that i am not sure how to address the different issues. oh well. i am off to the caf to eat and then i am going home. i need time to think and just escape. i want to go camping and just be lost in a nature for a while. | | |
| So i am back at piedmont for my third year!! I cant believe that this time two years ago i was just a freshman....so many things have changed since then and i cant believe what all has happended....there is so much to tell and so little time to talk about it all...i believe i am a better person for the most part then i was two years ago...i am more outgoing then i was before...i am still a leader, but there are things that i have experienced for the first time in college that i did not deal with before. i learned what heartbreak is. Heartbreak is not just learned through experience, but through watching. I have seen heartbreak in my best friend and seen how is can be overcame and how it can hurt the soul. i have learned that different people deal with it in different ways and we tend to block out the time afterwards and forget some of what has happened. heartbreak may emotionally drain you but in the long run it makes you a better person. I have learned what true friends are and what they will do to help you. Friends are there when you need them and are around even more when you feel like no one is there...There are days that i have felt that the world was just caving in on me and my friends have swept in to help save me from myself and that is the hardest person to save someone from..i have seen tears more times caused by myself then other people..friends are the ones who watch you for no particualar reason..i | | |
| so i stole this from jcoal and if u have over 85 movies then u have no life!! () Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
() Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 6
(x) The Princess Bride
() AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 14
() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 21
() Harry Potter 1
() Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
() Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
(x) Little Black Book
() The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 24
(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
(x)Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
() Robots
Total so far: 32
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) King Kong
Total so far: 39
(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 48
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
(x)Chicago
()Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 51
() The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(X) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 56
(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
() Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 64
(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 71
() Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 79
(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 92
(x) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 96
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 102
() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(X) Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 104
() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
() Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
(x) Willard
Total so far: 107
() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld
Total so far: 110
() Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 111
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 117
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal
Grand Total: 124 so i have no life! | | |
| so its been a while since i have been on here....well alot has changed over the past 5 or 6 months....there is still alot of things to figure out and decide what i am going to do about....but there are more definate things in my life that i can see and stick too..I am a declared psychology major and will graduate in 2009 with my fellow classmates...i want to go to grad school and become a research psychologist...that is the only definate plans in my future right now, that and where i am living next year. Right now thou i work two jobs and go to school full time...i am not sure why i do it, but i just do....i no longer have blonde hair and i have a hamster named sammie....I love books and to travel..i miss writing stories and poems....i love pictures and movies....there are the little things in life that make me happy and those things lead up to better and more important things in life..if i can be happy with myself haveing a postive outlook on life seems to come a little easier, but when i cant things are harder to smile about and it upsets me. life is not about how fast you can achieve something, it is about how well you achieve , did you enjoy it and what did you learn from it....i need to slow down and start to enjoy life a little bit more...this means not worring about the little stuff that is irrlevant in the long run of my life. it is easy to say but hard to do....i love to be able to do it and i want things to go back to the way there were before the inoccense times were los tto the times of tonday and yesterday....i have found a way to escape the pressures of today and enjoy the moments..it is either by listening to music, running, or reading.....I miss doing all of those things and ii need to make more time for me to be able to do those things. i love to be lost in the story of a new novel and just live the life of the character for a short itme. well it is test day and i must go and complete the exam....this should be fun!! | | |
|
|
Quotes
|
|
~WORK AS IF YOU DON'T NEED MONEY,~
~LOVE AS IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HURT,~
~DANCE AS IF KNOW ONE IS WATCHING.~
Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your
character is who you are, and your reputation is just what people think about
you.
I always knew i would look back on the tears and laugh but i never knew i would look back on the laughs and cry.
Let every dawn be to you as the beginning of life, and every
setting sun be to you as its close.
When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's
time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is
knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you
will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be
taught how to fly.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-
death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I
will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has
gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the
fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain
I am me* There will not ever be anyone like me. I am special because I am unique. I am stardust and dreams. I am light. I am love and hope. I am hugs and sometimes tears. I am the words "I love you". I am swirls of blue, gree, red, yellow, purple, orange, and the colors no one can name I am the sky, the sea, the earth. I trust yet I fear. I hide yet I dont hold anything back. I am free I am a child becoming an adult. I am me, and me is just right.
Don't say you're not important,
It simply isn't true,
The fact that you were born,
Is proof, God has a plan for you.
The path may seem unclear right now,
But one day you will see,
That all that came before,
Was truly meant to be.
God wrote the book that is your life,
That's all you need to know.
Each day that you are living,
Was written long ago.
God only writes best sellers,
So be proud of who you are,
Your character is important,
In this book you are the "Star."
Enjoy the novel as it reads,
It will stand throughout the ages,
Savor each chapter as you go,
Taking time to turn the pages
The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to
live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle.
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we
love deeply becomes a part of us.
I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by
risking, by giving, by losing.
Too often we believe that the struggle of life is a bad
thing. But learning to embrace the struggle is the only way
to live life to the fullest. It is the struggle that gives
life its taste.
|
|
